New Kid on the Blog

what actually kill you? what actually kill you is not the way people treat you what actually kill you is not the promise others can't keep what actually kill you is not silence from the other side what actually kill you is you. yes, you. your expectation of others. like all the cliche said, you can't expect somebody to treat you the way you treat them. because you are a total different heart, body, and soul. you can't control what you can't control. i'm not saying to have no expectation at all, let's be honest, it's one of the things to keep you going. but like one of my friend said to me, you can't let expectation from uncertainty controls and ruins you. rise above it, be the bigger person, and enjoy your ride!

terangku terangnya cita cahaya abadi ku jaga terangnya cahaya padam abadi tiada tercipta nyata terangku lenyap sirna tanpa sisa

i know many times people eventually disappoint you, till one day your soul decide it's enough and won't ever trust anyone anymore. but somewhere along the way, believe me, you'll find somebody worthy your trust. they might seem like any others but you have to trust time to reveals who they really are. piece by piece they will allow you to know them deeper and deeper. you'll fall into them, to their thick black hair, perfect smile, their persona and their souls. you suddenly know what love songs is all about, and they will make all the waits and all the heartaches in the past is finally worth it. but it won't happen to you, if you always generalize all people as the same mistake. it's not okay to glued one person mistake with everyone you meet up later. and this is what betting is. you bet your fragile heart into this one. either they're gonna break it, or keep it, eventually you're gonna be more than okay.

life is full of hellos and goodbyes. that's what they said. but all my life i'd been trying to maintain hellos and avoid goodbyes. took me 24 years to see that is kinda impossible to maintain it all. you have so limited time for making connection towards each and every person you once encountered in your life. there goes your temporary beings. and sometimes, despite all your effort, the temporaries will still gone because not everyone could appreciate you enough, or maybe the chemistry isn't there. for that, i say it's ok. it's not your job to be everyone's best friend but it's your job to have respect for your own self and let them go. i know all the memories will hold you back, but you gotta tough up and tell yourself... in the end, when you have to choose between relation with yourself or others, you have to pick the one who'll never left you behind.

one thing i do realize from all the series i watch, is, i won't be watching em if there is no end to it. i mean what's the point of something that has no end? all the resources and all the things that we are not aware has an end, we directly take it for granted. for examples, i'm mostly thankful for my electricity when there was a blackout. i'm mostly thankful for my water when there was a long draught summer. i'm mostly thankful for the presence of my friends when they were about to go far far away. electricity, water, friends, families, grey's anatomy, we assumed it all will never end. but, is it? we should know better that everything in this world is mortal, and that's the beauty of life. one way or another, it'll all go away. so, here goes this post... for reminding myself to always be thankful of all things and try to enjoy them while it last!

Changes. That's one thing for sure that will always happen on this planet. As we growing up, certain aspects in our life is changing as well. Your body, your voice and even your mind is developing. But now, if we are changing for the better, to be a rational adult, how could a change of thought easily judged by being hypocrite? We all might have not really agreed upon something, talk to our friends about it, and in the end we do that thing. Doesn't people will see you as a hypocrite? But how it is a hypocrite, if what we do is actually a higher route from our place before? Let's say we said we won't be friends with liar or envious people. But one day, when you know your closest friend is one of those thing, you try to forgive, accept and still befriend with them despite that was your biggest pet peeve. Can you say it's a hypocritical thing to do? Well, one thing Good Place serie has taught me: what matters the most is people's intention. I think i...

It's safe to say that i'm a minority. If you know me, you won't even have any doubt about it. The only majority thing around my perk is my college major (accounting, am i right?). I've been born and raised with people from the same background and that made me not feel anything about it. Until one day, in my past office, all of my coworkers talking about registering themselves to.... let's called it a "thing". And i've been told and believe that with my perks, it would be impossible to be accepted on that "thing". My friends react kinda impulsive about it and that makes me realize something... I have been bullied by strangers on the street when i was a kid just because i looked different from them. No kidding, i've been thrown by little rocks on the street. I've been received some strange unwelcome gaze, and i just realized when i was a kid, there are lack of representation that resonance with how i look on the tv. and the fac...